Sterrenstof
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| Art operate yesteryear Kanra Khan from The Lunar Descent |
Then 2010 happened. I was fourteen years sometime in addition to constitute myself singing along alongside my friends to a vocal called 'Sterrenstof' (Dutch for 'stardust') by... De Jeugd Van Tegenwoordig. No thing how difficult I tried, I could non abhor this song. This caused quite some concern, but the follow-up was crap in addition to I never spared the grouping a idea again.
Fast frontward to 2017. I hadn't heard a total vocal yesteryear the grouping I loved to abhor inwards years when I broke downwards crying, panicking in addition to hyperventilating because I saw no agency I could goal the most of import college assignment of my life on time. As I pulled myself together on that forenoon inwards April, Sterrenstof came on the radio. I smiled, because it made me intend of the fourth dimension i of my classmates sang it inwards ninth bird physics shape in addition to completely screwed the lyrics up. The vocal brought thus many happy memories dorsum that I managed to sit down dorsum on my chair in addition to write v total pages earlier the adjacent moving ridge of panic came. From that 24-hour interval on I pose the vocal on repeat every unmarried fourth dimension I worked on this assignment that'd choose me a whole lot closer to beingness a certified teacher. Sterrenstof began to plow into something to a greater extent than than simply a happy high schoolhouse memory.
The start hours of writing were awkward. Even though the vocal brought dorsum six-year-old memories that were all good, the grouping reminded me of my ex-boyfriend, who likes them agency likewise much. I felt bad for listening to a vocal yesteryear i of 'his' artists. Until I remembered he hated this song. I felt amend then. The vocal didn't simply calm me down, it helped me acquire over him a trivial more. Yes, I was enjoying something he'd liked, but on my terms. It felt amend in addition to amend to slam my keyboard relentlessly to the shell of Sterrenstof. It was in addition to thus that I remembered I'd watched a documentary on these guys alongside my ex-boyfriend (hey, nosotros all exercise stupid things for love) in addition to that he'd told me i of these rappers, Willie Wartaal, was a certified high schoolhouse teacher. That motivated me to no end. If a guy who had written songs about, in addition to I fry y'all not, schnitzels of all things could acquire a high schoolhouse teacher, I saw no argue why I couldn't acquire one. I worked in addition to worked in addition to worked, listening to Sterrenstof every unmarried time.
As the days went yesteryear in addition to my panic became to a greater extent than intense I noticed I needed to a greater extent than distraction than simply the music. Also, Spotify was beingness a hurting inwards the ass, thus I turned to YouTube to acquire my writing jam. I'd seen the video clip for Sterrenstof almost in i lawsuit or twice when I was inwards high school, but didn't genuinely recall it. Half a infinitesimal inwards I was smiling from ear to ear for the start fourth dimension since December. It's non a real exceptional video, simply the 4 guys from De Jeugd Van Tegenwoordig beingness goofy on a loma in addition to real awkwardly dancing, but it struck a cord alongside me. Okay, they choose some weird donkey songs that seriously pissed me off when I was a kid, but they were living my dream: they clearly had fun doing what they loved for a living alongside people they liked. It alone motivated me fifty-fifty to a greater extent than to operate difficult on my assignment thus that i 24-hour interval I could alive that life too.
It was early on May when I was rapping out loud inwards my room; rapping out loud inwards Dutch, something I'd sworn I'd never do, non fifty-fifty to salve my ain life. But I did it, every fourth dimension I felt the panic creeping upward on me. Every fourth dimension I felt similar my assignment was going to last shitty, I turned the mass up. Every fourth dimension I felt tears stinging behind my eyes, I danced around the room inwards my ain weird way. And when it all became likewise much, I'd rap. Softly at first, in addition to thus louder in addition to louder, fifty-fifty though I messed the lyrics upward worse than my classmate from ninth bird physics. Eventually I looked them upward in addition to in conclusion discovered that a vocal I'd seen every bit innocent was genuinely most in all likelihood almost LSD. I couldn't aid less. The vocal made me experience amend in addition to also had parts almost overcoming addiction in addition to making it on your own, which inspired me. And to last honest, yelling 'DAN BEN IK LOESOE IN DE SKY MET DIAMONDS ON MY NECK BITCH DIAMONDS ON MY NECK' made me experience amend than I'd felt inwards months. I was certain I'd locomote yesteryear my assignment, assessment in addition to boot donkey inwards senior year, thank y'all to De Jeugd Van Tegenwoordig.
Then things changed. I'd worked my donkey off in addition to had simultaneously learned the lyrics to i of the most misheard vocal lyrics inwards Dutch history when college just... well... screwed me over. Apparently I couldn't exercise what Willie Wartaal could, because college made it impossible for me to mitt the assignment inwards in addition to apply for assessment on time. I dropped out, but that's a dissimilar even out (which y'all tin read inwards this post). For what felt similar the millionth fourth dimension inwards 2017 I spent my days crying, thinking I was a consummate failure. I didn't hear to whatever music, unopen myself off from all of it.
I intend I stopped crying afterward a 24-hour interval or three. I realized I'd made the correct decisionby dropping out. I felt similar a weight had been lifted, similar I could breathe again. That's when I also played music again. The start vocal I listened to afterward dropping out of college was, of course, Sterrenstof.
It's similar a shot been good over 2 months since that start breakdown when Sterrenstof came on the radio. Since in addition to thus the vocal has calmed me downwards numerous times, has prevented at to the lowest degree viii panic attacks in addition to kept me from crying on a daily basis. It's the combination of happy high schoolhouse memories, upbeat music in addition to a video clip that reminds me of my goals inwards life that makes this vocal thus powerful to me.
I choose hated De Jeugd Van Tegenwoordig, resented them alongside every jail cellular telephone inwards my body. Not anymore. Sterrenstof gets completely stuck inwards your caput in i lawsuit you've listened to it, but I don't mind. I'm thankful for that now. If it weren't for De Jeugd Van Tegenwoordig, I would choose given upward promise a long fourth dimension ago.
x Envy
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