On The Unbearable Closeness Of Others

Originally published at Overland.

We alive inwards literal times. Far besides literal. Hell’s lobby inwards Jean-Paul Sartre’s No Exit was supposed to hold upwards a metaphorical, metaphysical place. Now we’ve gone in addition to invented it. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 virtual space. An enormous room. We part it alongside throngs of strangers. Hell is other people, in addition to nosotros are other people’s Hell.

I cry back I have, inwards general, a skillful human relationship alongside social media. I value the ways it has helped me rest inwards impact alongside friends in addition to identify unit of measurement overseas, plug into activist political networks, uncovering an audience for my writing in addition to vastly expand my hit of readings. All of these things are of import to me.

I also suspect I am to a greater extent than comfortable than nearly alongside the other side of the bargain: the demand for continuous presence, both implicit in addition to explicit. The dissonance of that incessant conversation finding its agency into daily routines, competing alongside the parallel demands of people alongside whom I am physically unopen – demands that are no less urgent but altogether to a greater extent than justifiable.

There is, of course, an fifty-fifty darker side: the subtle in addition to non therefore subtle surveillance imposed on those who depend inwards whatsoever agency on terra firma support, or who must projection a docile ikon inwards monastic tell to uncovering work, or who tin hold upwards fired on a whim. Then at that spot is the vile abuse that speaking one’s hear tin attract. Abuse that, for some to a greater extent than than for others, mirrors wider in addition to less novel patterns of discrimination. I am a man, in addition to I am white, therefore my direct experience of this side is limited. But this also underscores the marking to which this identify of places differs depending on one’s viewpoint in addition to circumstances.

The neutral nature of the Net is i of the bully ideological illusions of our times. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 text is a text is a text: our online communication may hold upwards broken downwards into ones in addition to zeros in addition to therefore split upwards into information packets which are sent on their separate ways, e'er reconfiguring itself upon reaching its destination. But where is the terminate of the line? And who is watching?

Social media networks both embody in addition to exemplify the illusion. We oft speak of Facebook or Twitter equally if they were recognisable places alongside fixed coordinates in addition to characteristics. Yet every timeline, every stream, is unique. Two people may only convey each other inwards common. When they talk, feeling similar they are sharing the same space, they are inwards the fellowship of completely dissimilar people. The enormous room is non a room at all. It’s to a greater extent than similar a funhouse, a maze of mirrors.

Sartre dramatised Hell – that is to say, French guild – equally the experience of sharing an enclosed infinite alongside strangers, for all eternity. The sardonic twist inwards the play is that the door of Sartre’s modest room was never locked, leaving the audience to ponder if the prisoners could convey chosen to travel out at whatsoever time.

Belonging to a social network is, on the human face upwards of it, also only optional. But therefore so is owning a telephone. Ask yourself: is it actually a champaign y'all tin travel out blank in addition to nonetheless promise to uncovering travel or convey a normal social life?

As long agone equally 2012, Time magazine mused, ‘Does Not Having a Facebook Page Make You “Suspicious” to Employers?’ This in addition to other articles similar it were inwards reply to reported attitudes of HR departments across the United States. According to Forbes, people who left the networks aroused detail suspicion. What could they peradventure convey to hide? At some the same time, German linguistic communication magazine Der Taggspiegel noted that non having a Facebook profile was i affair Aurora theater shooter James Holmes in addition to Norwegian volume murderer Anders Breivik had inwards common. The 2 stories rapidly intersected, leading to dozens of articles declaring that non beingness on Facebook makes y'all unemployable in addition to peradventure a psychopath.

Facile hysteria aside, how meaningful is the pick non to hold upwards on social media? And what are the costs – both personal in addition to professional person – of leaving social networks for those who experience that their returns are steadily diminishing?

Like I said, I’m i of the lucky ones, a reasonably well-adjusted denizen of the networks. Yet fifty-fifty I confess to experiencing those feelings, sometimes. The spurious involve for validation. The subtle sense of claustrophobia. Above all, the intolerable in addition to downright unnatural closeness of people. The room is therefore large. Do I actually know the location of the doors? Could I measuring through them, if I felt I needed to?

This is all therefore new: never earlier convey humans had the capability to hold upwards constantly inwards contact. It is hubris to cry back nosotros could peradventure hold upwards inwards control. Allowing users to modulate the distance betwixt i some other goes direct against the commercial needs of the owners of the networks, which is how nosotros know that the solution won’t come upwards from them. And perhaps at that spot isn’t one, salve for looking – somewhere, somehow – for novel circuits of solidarity in addition to for novel ways to brand room for silence.

My colum for the latest outcome of Overland, 'On the books I kept', is up now.