On The Things One Tin Say Inward 800 Words

 Originally published at Overland

Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 author has been asked to make a romantic even for a magazine but, every bit the deadline approaches, finds himself 3000 words small of the required length. Luckily, he thinks of an expedient. He concludes the even alongside the next substitution betwixt the 2 protagonists:

‘I honey you.’
‘Oh, darling … state it i time again i chiliad times!’

This onetime gag past times Italian humourist Achille Campanile illustrates an apparent paradox: that nosotros are so ofttimes asked to write non for every bit long every bit an persuasion or a even requires to endure properly expressed, but to create total a given space, whether measured inwards words, pages or time. Campanile started his career inwards the historic menstruation of the Futurists, who wrote plays such every bit Francesco Cangiullo’s Detonation (1915), inwards which a shot rings out across the empty stage, as well as so the drapery falls: the spectators so would endure left non only to reverberate on the puzzling brevity of the performance, but too to uncovering something else to make alongside the ease of their evening. (It is unclear whether the play was ever staged.)

Detonation underscores the fact that length is an aesthetic measurement: what you lot tin make or state inwards a real small play is fundamentally different, non merely inwards quantity but too inwards quality, from a play of to a greater extent than traditional duration. There is literally no entertainment if you lot don’t genuinely proceed the audience occupied for a substantial amount of time. Conversely, Umberto Eco wrote memorably almost the sublime prolixity of Alexandre Dumas, père, who got paid past times the give-and-take as well as too based his commercial success on his mightiness to stretch his imagery to its breaking point.

Essays operate inwards a like way. If nosotros become dorsum to the beginnings of the form, nosotros uncovering that Montaigne varied the fourth dimension he spent on his subjects greatly. The average length of his 107 published essays is a piffling over 3000 words, but ranges from every bit piffling every bit 300 words (‘Of the Parsimony of the Ancients’) to a whopping 25,000 (‘Of Experience’). And although the essays tended to acquire longer over time, the overall stair of the iii books is remarkably uniform, every bit if he genuinely only devoted to each dependent area the attending it required, as well as length were wholly as well as alone a piece of work of content.

Nowadays, mandated seek out lengths ease the needs of publishers (or teachers) to stimulate got something substantial plenty to issue (or assess), alongside the needs of writers to know the degree of exceptional as well as depth of engagement required.

One tin praise succinctness, as well as opine that to a greater extent than words don’t e'er equal amend words. (Karl Kraus: ‘There are writers who tin state inwards every bit few every bit 20 pages what it takes me every bit many every bit 2 lines to express.’) But what if you lot don’t stimulate got plenty to say? The wikiHow page entitled ‘How to Make an Essay Appear Longer Than It Is’ contains many useful suggestions aimed at the the US college educatee who has problem completing an assignment, but its wisdom is to a greater extent than widely applicable as well as would stimulate got impressed onetime human being Dumas himself.

Some of the suggestions are obvious enough. (Do non work contractions: merely make not.) Others are to a greater extent than elaborate, such every bit encouraging the educatee to acquire to work a highly formal, imagery-rich prose style, or to summarise the key betoken of each paragraph inwards a judgement earlier moving on to the side past times side i (such signposting is almost a dominion for proficient writing). But much greater heights are scaled past times the typographical suggestions for the make goodness of students who stimulate got to create total a for certain number of pages, every bit opposed to reaching a for certain number of words. These aren’t limited to the work of large titles, or remembering to advert the shout out of the instructor inwards the championship page, or double-spacing the text, or using the maximum allowable font size, or fifty-fifty the biggest font for a given font size (it’s Lucida Sans Typewriter, inwards illustration you’re wondering, followed past times Arial as well as Euphemia UCAS). The brain fob is to brand all total stops as well as commas a larger size than the ease of the text, which evidently tin stretch a document a neat bargain piece beingness scarcely noticeable.

‘Use bigger commas’ would endure a terrific rallying bespeak an advanced writing course, but we’re inwards the realm of the comic paradox again. In reality, the length of an seek out usefully dictates its attain of possible meanings. If I’m asked past times Overland to write an 800-word column, every bit opposed to a 3000-word essay, it volition send on non merely my means but too my approach to the topic. In 800 words, I tin only touching lightly upon a subject. Raise to a greater extent than or less questions but non fully articulate the answers. It is a length that is growing on me, every bit it were. And piece it isn’t suited to all topics, it’s too truthful that non all topics that are suited to an 800-word column scale upward good to a longer treatment.

With practice, naturally, you lot acquire to stair yourself. Like an accomplished musician, you lot settle from the start on the correct rhythm, which ensures you lot volition never commit the telephone substitution sin of running out of words inwards the middle of a